nursing | tandem in love

on 6.24.15 is a day i will always remember. it’s the day baby olive decided to not nurse anymore! whaaaaat?! yes, it happened. i wasn’t sure when this day would arrive and i was not ready for it.

i remembered telling myself that i would do my best to hit six months with nursing olive, at minimum, as long as my body cooperated. my bold goal was one year. as the months rolled by, we hit six months! yipeeeee! it was a good milestone for us. alright, i told myself. a year it is. it felt like a million years away at that point. well honestly, i thought hitting six months was a long time but a year? we will see!

a year rolled around and i found myself not ready to give it up and olive wasn’t ready either. i, for sure, wanted olive to make that decision for herself because as a nursing mom, i think i was attached to it more than her! ha!

i knew i was going on a trip in january to celebrate my sister’s big birthday and i said to myself…this is it. i am going to stop nursing! this trip will help me out because i was going to be without my babe for four days. while i was in l.a., i decreased the number of times i pumped. well, as soon as i came back, olive and i fell back into our usual routine.

i wondered a lot about when was it going to be the right time? i talked with other moms and a lot of them said when it happens, it happens and it will all fall into place. i felt like olive would never want to stop nursing. for months, i would try to change up the routine. i would wake her up and walk her into the living room {she would cry and sign for milk}, i would stay in her bedroom and try to play {she would cry and sign for milk}, i would try to go into the kitchen to distract her {she would cry and sign for milk}.

don’t get me wrong. i loved, loved, loved nursing her. it has always been our time, our special moment, our wonderful quiet time together. i enjoyed almost every second of it {except for when i would experience the pain…now that is a whole ‘nother story}. i think i loved it more than olive did! no joke!

well, that wednesday morning, i got her out of her crib and distracted her. i changed her diapy and then put her on the floor of her room to see what she would do. she stood up and walked over to her toys and started playing! whaaaaaa??!!! omygoodness. she didn’t cry for milk! i was mildly excited {i ran into the room and hid the boppy!}! i was very watchful and curious. after she roamed around for a bit, i started getting ready. she came over to our bedroom {where she nursed every single morning} and walked up to the bed and just leaned her head against it, staring lovingly at me. i just stared at her, for what seemed liked forever but was probably on a few minutes, and my heart felt sad. i was soooo sad. it was a great big millstone for both of us and i was the one who was shattered. oh, that moment where it no longer is and it’s a fact and you have to except it.

my baby was moving into her big girl chapter and it was so stinkin’ bittersweet for me. so, yes, that is how the story goes. the day olive gave up nursing at nineteen months. i am so proud to have gone this long and never giving up even when, at times, it was so incredibly painful. i never would have thought i would be such a strong advocate for breastfeeding. i mean, even when i was pregnant with olive {up to the eight month}, i wasn’t going to nurse her. i then changed my mind {i figured why refuse something i have never even tried?} and i am so glad i did…what an amazing journey i would have been missing out on!

[twinning with the best of ’em! shirts by lemonteeshop and gold gladiators by mybeautifulittleshop]

each from that wednesday, we have changed her routine and every day, she has moved on happily without nursing. i am so happy to have let her choose what was best for her. any mom can make that decision for their babe, it’s easy, but to have your child make it for herself…it’s the best feeling in the world {besides, if it was left to me…i would probably nurse olive until she was eight…hahaha, just keeding}.

oh, i am still so sad over it but i now have a new found freedom! no more nursing, no more pumping, no more timelines and restrictions! hallelujah! i am free! i am free of it all! woot!

i am so happy to move onto the next wonderful chapter with my baby girl! cheers to that!

xoxo

pretty much my whole life, up until i was around 8 months pregnant, i was steadfast in my stance of not breastfeeding our baby. yes, it’s true. i didn’t like the idea. i didn’t like the thought. i didn’t care to do such a thing…it seemed weird to me. uh huh. yes, i said weird. it kinda freaked me out.

i wanted to bottle feed and didn’t feel like taxing out the boobies. oddly enough, i didn’t feel like it was natural to breastfeed. it’s truly how i felt…yes, mother nature intended us to breastfeed but that didn’t mean i should or would or wanted to.

then lo and behold, as i was nearing the end of my pregnancy, something clicked. i literally woke up one day and thought…i’m gonna do it. i did debate it in my head for awhile before the enlightenment and it came down to this: i didn’t really have a legit reason or argument on why i shouldn’t nurse my little one.

i knew it was beneficial. breastfed babies are linked to having higher iq’s. breast milk helps fight diseases. breast milk provides the perfect nutrients for your baby’s growing needs. breast feeding decreases the chance of illness. the milk is easier to digest for your baby. it’s free. it’s an amazing bond you have with your child. there are no bottles to clean up constantly. i also feel fortunate that i am able to nurse, some women who want to breastfeed struggle with it or can’t. i feel blessed i can.

what i love most about it…spending one on one time with my little olive. it’s just me and her. yes, giving her a bottle is spending time with her but breastfeeding her is so different. it’s intimate. it’s quality time together. it’s quiet time. it’s skin to skin contact which is very comforting for her. our connection is stronger. i feel satisfied she is receiving the best food for her growing little body.

[the most natural thing…but people see this & get offended]

so, with that, whenever i’m out with olive, i do nurse her when she gets hungry. for me, it seems so natural and normal to do so. i have never really thought twice about what i was doing nor did i care. if we were out at a restaurant, i’d feed her. if we were shopping, i would stop at a store, use their fitting room or just sit in their chair and feed her. no biggie in my mind.

then one day, grace, olive, and i were at the zoo. in the middle of us being there, olive needed a feeding. we found a bench, plopped down and i started to feed olive. grace ran up and down the area to check out all the animals, while olive ate.

in the middle of the feeding, a women walked up to me and handed me a card. she was smiling and said, “i never get to use these…thank you!”. i read the card and was quite touched. it really made me think about nursing in public. it never occurred to me it could be so faux pas. i’ve heard stories about people not allowing it or people posting pictures of themselves nursing and it has caused an uproar, but i never really thought about it.

this made me really think about how people are uncomfortable with it. it is truly the most natural thing a women could do and in some places and in people’s mind, it is frowned upon. not accepted. that is appalling. it should be acceptable and celebrated. it’s a joyous act. feeding your baby is nonnegotiable and someone shouldn’t dictate whether you can or cannot, nor where you should be able to feed her.

i was really touched by her act as she was affected by mine. it made me feel proud and it really makes me think how important it is to do this publicly. there is no question on when or where to feed olive. i would not allow anyone to tell me i couldn’t, or tell me where. this stranger felt that my act should be applauded, i feel great knowing that i will continue to feed olive publicly, proudly, and without hesitation.

xoxo

tandem in love

{life is truly beautiful and it should be celebrated + shared.}

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