momfessions

sometimes i wonder about the world of motherhood. i think about how it was a world i had no clue about. i was on the other side. i didn’t get it. i looked at people with children and wondered, ‘are they really happy?”. i didn’t know. it didn’t seem like joy, the way my friends complained how they never slept. how their lives where no longer theirs. how they never shopped for themselves anymore {what?!} and spent all their money on their kids. they said they never had time to themselves and it was go, go, go until it was bedtime. i mean, how could that possibly be great?!!

via tandeminlove.com

i was a bit scared to have kids. it didn’t sound appealing. i loved me time. a. lot. i enjoyed my hour long showers 😉 . i loved taking forever putting on my make up or doing whatever maintenance i need to do. i liked just spending time with hc and not have a care in the world.

the world was my oyster and i was quite happy in it.

then it happened. yes. i got pregnant.

hc and i, obviously, discussed having kids before we were married. i knew it was going to happen but i was afraid. most people fear the unknown, right?!

from the moment i found out i was pregnant…it was nothing but joy. i loved being pregnant. i loved feeling our little baby girl grow inside my belly. i loved feeling her kick and punch and hiccup inside me. but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming joy and love i would feel when she came into our world. wow. seriously, amaze. you just don’t know until you have kids. literally.

i came over to the flip side. i once had a very wise women tell me that she felt sorry for those who chose to not have children, because it is truly a joy and a beautiful blessing. those who choose to not have children will never know the fulfillment. it can never be explained nor can the emotional satisfaction ever be transferred. you can only experience it to know how utterly amazing it is.

i concur. i am amazed by olive. i love her soooooo much. i love everything about her. i love getting up early to see her cute smile and crazy bed hair. i love spending time with her. i love watching her grow. i love spending my energy on her. i love hugging her. i love hearing her heartbeat. i love her giggles. i love my life, my marriage with olive in it. i don’t want the life i had before because it was not as fulfilling as it is now.

i’ll trade in my alone time for olive time anytime! now, hc and i still need our time…our relationship is just as important! don’t get me wrong now, but this is about olive 😉

i could go on and on about the wonders of having children but you will never really know until you have one of your own. before you do, it’s just all words that bounce around at you, words that don’t really resonate with you until you have your own child and then it’s liiiike, ahhhh, now i understand.

aaannnndddd that is my momfession for the day. 🙂

xoxo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *