apprehensions of baby number two

ok, ok, i know this is nothing new. billions of women have more than one kid but i must confess that i am quite nervous to bring another little one into the world. mainly and mostly because of me. i am a bit neurotic, too type a, wayyyyy too much of a control & neat freak, and just plain crazy. haha! just ask hc. i run on structure, on timelines, and always do way too much more than i need to.

sure, you can say to me…that’s not going to last. or you have to give something up. or whatever you want to say to get me to understand that how i behave is going to have to change but that is easier said then done, isn’t it? how many of you have completely change your ways after being who you are for soooooo many years? not easy, huh? i know i definitely have to pick and choose my battles. i did with olive but not too drastically because, honestly…she was and still is a great babe!

that is why i am worried about how i will handle the second addition. lots of people are scaring me. they keep on saying how having two kids isn’t like having one and then doubling the work and time. they are saying that having two kids is like having five kids. whaaaa? one to five kids?! yikes! i already feel like i have no time ever and now everyone is saying you will have zero time for anything! now, i hope they are just exaggerating…really, they must be, right?! i have already cut down on things that i do {creatively and personally} and i can’t imagine not being able to have an outlet through my blog or insta or even having the time to take care of myself! i will not be a ‘mom’…that’s my new mantra. haha!

don’t get me wrong. raising my girls to be kind, smart, loving human beings is my number one goal. natch. butttttt, it’s not about that right now…it’s about me in this blog post. ha! i pray that i will learn how to balance everything. i hope that getting out the door is not going to take an hour because this mama ain’t got no time for that {how’s that for proper english and grammar?}.

i kind of had the same fears with olive entering into our lives and i did acclimate well. i was able to keep up with the things that i personally love doing and still spend my time with olive. i guess it comes down to time, learning, and balancing it all without too much sacrifice. my babies will always be my number one priority but i don’t want to lose myself, my creative outlet, who i am, and the wife i need to be for my hc. those factors are very important to me, so naturally i worry that i might not be able to handle it. but like i said in the beginning of this post, billions of women have made the transition from one to two/three/four kids effortlessly and i just know i will be able to as well {and not lose my mind along the way}. bahhhahahahaha!